You Won't Take Me Back
by CursedLyfe
Summary: songfic about how John feels about Olivia leaving SVU for computers. Post Fault


Ok. I finally got a story written up and submitted. Go me! Uh... regular disclaimer. Don't own so don't sue! Song is in italics and I don't own the song "Grey Sky Morning" by Vertical Horizon

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_So you sailed away_

_Into a grey sky morning_

_Now I'm here to stay_

_Love can be so boring_

He looked out into the night and sighed. Lately everything had been getting down and nothing seemed to make him happy anymore. He didn't feel the thrill of catching the crook and bring justice to the victim. Nothing worked anymore. Nothing was really the same anymore since she left.

_Nothing's quite the same now_

_I just say your name now _

Olivia.

_But it's not so bad_

_You're only the best I ever had_

You don't want me back 

_You're just the best I ever had _

Everyone missed her but nobody felt the way he did. He and Oliva shared something that no one else shared. Love. Most people thought Olivia was involved with Elliot. It was fun for John because he could sit there and snicker at his clueless co-workers while they made bets on when Elliot would have sex with Olivia. Of course, when John bet never, he always won.

Everything sort of shattered after Olivia transferred to computer crimes. All because of a stupid fight between her and El. John mostly blamed El because he was the moodiest of the four. He'd been getting over a divorce and it took a huge toll on the partnership as well as the whole squad. Elliot's way of thinking seemed to become more and more narrow as the years dragged on.

_So you stole my world_

_Now I'm just a phony_

_Remembering the girl_

_Leaves me down and lonely _

Since she left, John was nothing but empty. She broke the ties thinking that it would make things easier. Of course, John argued otherwise. It cut him deep when she asked him to move on without her. To see her pleading face full of grief and sorrow. She honestly didn't want to leave him but for her, that was the only good thing she could do for him. He didn't understand. It was probably a woman thing.

_Send it in a letter_

_Make yourself feel better _

He didn't think he would ever understand why she left him. He supposed the blame would always fall in Elliot. If he hadn't been so damned stubborn and pushed her away. It was his fault. John was just caught in the crossfire.

_But it's not so bad_

_You're only the best I ever had_

_You don't need me back_

_You're just the best I ever had _

Now he was left to feel sorry for himself while his career dragged on. The squad was never the same anyways. Cragen wasn't so cheerful anymore. It was clear to everyone that Olivia was the sunshine of the squad. Their ratings and conviction rate stayed the same but the amount of compassion lowered substantially. The squad's reputation went down the drain. Nobody cared anymore. Everything seemed so pointless and tedious. The attitude stuck. Unless she came back, probably nothing would be the same.

_And it may take some time to_

_Patch me up inside_

_But I can't take it so I_

_Run away and hide_

_And I may find in time that_

_You were always right_

You're always right 

He tried desperately to get her back but nothing worked. Funny how a woman's mind works. One could give her a hundred good reasons to come back but she'd still find a way to contradict. That's what he loved most about her.

_So you sailed away_

_Into a grey sky morning_

_Now I'm here to stay_

_Love can be so boring _

It seemed like she popped into his head everytime he had free thought. Everything he did reminded him of her. Everytime, he could feel his heart being ripped out of his chest. Every single thought brought on the same sinking feeling. Sure they went out for coffee during time off but other than that... there was no other communication.

_What was it you wanted_

_Could it be I'm haunted _

Their relationship was broken and there was no way for him to fix it. No matter how hard he tried. He was so tired.

_But it's not so bad_

_You're only the best I ever had_

_I don't want you back_

She did promise him that they would see each other again. But then again, there were the empty promises. He remembered everything he promised. He never got to fulfill them all. He felt like he was a hypcrite. He couldn't face the reality of it all. It just ate him up inside. It felt like he lost someone literally. Llike died literally. Even though it wasn't true, the feeling never left. His mind was playing tricks on him. She was fine and dandy sitting in front of a computer. What was he worried about?

Her sanity. She couldn't possibly be taking this well. He decided that he needed to make things better. It wasn't his fault but he wanted to take the initiative. He was going to bring his family back together.

_You're just the best I ever had_

_The best I ever had_

_The best I ever_

Getting up from his desk, he looked around. Nobody paid any attention to him. Grabbing his coat, he swiftly walked out of the room and down to the street. He was headed to her. Coming for her.

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I think I can add a few more chapters to this story. I also think I was too repititious but give me some pointers and review! 


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